En français

It is a well know fact that between the three of us, Rachel, Fiona, and I are practically fluent in French. We know all sorts of useful everyday phrases such as, "passer moi un sac poubelle' and my all time favourite - 'avez vous un baguette magique?' You can only imagine how excited we all were at the arrival of our newest member of staff, Johanne. (Johanne is from Paris, and studying at university in Glasgow). Fiona was almost beside herself when Jo turned up wearing a scarf - she had been going on about it all afternoon, how well the French wear scarves, and how perhaps she might get some tips on how to do it. I even heard Fiona say to Jo, "je suis chaud", which has little to do with ones temperature. I'm surprised Jo didn't run out of the building screaming. 

A few days later I asked Jo who spoke better French, Fiona or I. "Well, it's difficult to tell because, well, Fiona......" What she was trying to say, politely, was that Fiona talks a lot more than me (in any language). We assured Jo that she wasn't the first person to have noticed this phenomenon. In fact, Fiona can talk so much that she can go to Argentina not knowing a word of Spanish and still manage to speak Spanish. It's a gift. 

There was a lot at stake when I challenged Jo to an arm wrestle at breakfast. The winner would clean showers, and the loser would take the toilets. I was a little surprised at how readily she accepted, and this turned into full blown competition anxiety when I saw the look in her eyes, and she said to me, "I learned something this summer......in Hungary." It was too late to back out, and sure enough I was crushed in seconds. I actually thought I was getting the better deal, that was until I discovered the vomit. 

Later on that morning the four of us piled into the laundry room. I asked Jo what she thought of her first week here. "It's brilliant, it seems different from reality somehow. Like one of those places where crazy people work." I am absolutely certain that something has been lost in translation here.