A fish exorcism and the Frozen Lady

This is exactly the kind of place where legends and folk stories are easily born. Where the remote, rugged scenery plays tricks with your senses, and mysticism seeps into the mind. Add to that a small group of people whose conversations are so spontaneous that one sentence rarely follows on from another, and who may be kindly described as being a little bit whacky. The result of which is that a small amount of truth rapidly grows into a much larger and far more elaborate tale of nonsense. Thus it came about that we performed a fish exorcism and created a Frozen Lady. 

For three whole days there had been a persistent odour, which could be most accurately described as cremated fish finger. Our attempts at locating and dispersing this scent seemed to be in vain, so we came to the conclusion that the building must now be haunted by the soul of this fish. Talking amongst ourselves, it soon became clear that not one of us had had any previous experience of fish exorcisms. We considered casually asking some of the likely looking guests, but decided against it in the end. At this stage we figured that the idea of a fish finger ghost floundering about the corridors was likely to be less of an attraction, and more of an incentive to hot foot it over Hardknott Pass in record time. So we put our heads together and came up with a logical ceremony for freeing the trapped spirit of the breadcrumb encrusted fish. We were all in agreement that we needed to conjure up a day of continuous rain. How we achieved this however shall remain a secret shared between just three people. It is probable that, being the only three known fish exorcists in the county (possibly in the world), we could start up a rather lucrative business. What I can tell you though, is that it did indeed rain for at least 24 hours without letup. The following day we could see a newly formed stream/waterfall flowing down the side of the fell opposite the kitchen window. With this new arrival, the smell of cremated fish finger disappeared. In honour of the successful exorcism, we have named this stream Fish Gill. You will not see it on a map, but you will see it from YHA Eskdale after a day of rainfall, and in doing so be reminded to take care when cooking fish fingers.  

Then there is the tale of the Frozen Lady. The catering manager at YHA Eskdale (who's real name has now long been forgotten) was retrieving some chocolate fudge cake from the freezer, when a colleague 'accidentally' nudged the open door into her back. The lady fell forward into the freezer, and the door slammed shut trapping her inside. The perpetrator wandered away, and was later claimed to be heard muttering, "That will teach her to use my favourite red apron." 

Days passed, where substandard food was served to the Youth Hostel guests, and it wasn't until a week later when the lady, in a red apron, was found cryogenically frozen, with a piece of chocolate fudge cake still in her hand. The authorities were contacted, but they declared that until advancements in cryogenic technology had been made, she must remain there, the Frozen Lady (in red). They believed there was a chance that she could be safely thawed, and restored to her former living glory (as such, the police pathologist refused to pronounce her as dead). Furthermore, no charges could be brought against the suspect - there were no witnesses, and no fingerprints left on the recently sanitised freezer door. It was reported in the press as a tragic accident, but the tabloid newspapers seemed to think that there was now a notorious cryogenic criminal on the loose, and that as a nation we should abstain from having ice cream storage facilities in the home. However, such was the level of human interest in the story, people from miles around came to see this phenomenon. They would spend a night at YHA Eskdale, take a selfie with the Frozen Lady, and then walk to the Woolpack Inn for a local ale, and to use the wifi to post their photo on Facebook. 

Disclaimer. 94.2% of the above is of a fictional nature. No actual crimes were committed. YHA Eskdale has never been haunted by a cremated fish finger. And more importantly; No health and safety at work regulations were breached during either incident.