Home & Away (season 1, episode 9054)

I still think it was a conspiracy. Mick, Rachel, and Fiona all took holiday at the same time, leaving me alone (and more worryingly, in charge). I honestly didn't think my Chris de Burgh singalongs bothered them that much. But perhaps it was the accompanying 'lamb dance' that really pushed them over the edge. It was just for one night, but I was most relieved to see that all the guests were still happy (and alive) come the morning. 

It was then my turn to get away for a few days. I needed to return to Cheshire for a blood test. When I went to say goodbye, Mick told me that I needed to sign something before I left. Seeing the look of confusion on my face, he added, "not because you're going out of the valley, it's just a training record thing!" It wasn't the fist time that morning he had had to clarify what he meant. Wolly, the Woolpack's dog, had made an appearance in the hostel grounds, and was running around playing with Moss (Mick & Rachel's dog). We watched them for a few moments before Mick said to me, "why can't we do that?" He didn't actually mean me and him. But the whole carefree attitude to life thing. Phew.  

It was strange, but not unpleasant, returning to 'civilisation'. It's always good to see my mum, and my younger brother (Hamish). I also got the chance to catch up with a good friend, and we were kicked out of Costa at closing time (again). I certainly wouldn't want to make the trip every week, but it provided an interesting perspective, and reminded me of many things. When I returned, there was snow on the higher ground, including a little on the road over the Ulpha fells. Fiona was still away, but we have been joined by Rob for a week or so (who has had many years experience with the YHA, and gained his sailing qualification aged 19). I already hold him in very high esteem - he printed out a photo of Chris de Burgh (complete with what Rachel describes as his trotters) and pinned it up on Chris' cupboard door. I think he could be talked into helping me organise Eskdale's first Lady in Red Convention. 

 Rachel has hurt her back. She claims it was from doing overly energetic cleaning. I'm not saying that I don't believe her, but she has been known to tell a tale, or two. Like the time she accused me of trampling on her windpipe when she wasn't looking. As a result of this mysterious injury, she has been walking around like Virgil Tracy, and feeding me sob stories about not being able to lift up the full container of blackcurrant squash (so please could I make her one). Anyway. When I came in for the evening shift, Rachel proudly said to me, "look what I did this afternoon." She opened the fridge, and pulled out a pumpkin which was stuffed with what looked a bit like....you know. I simply raised my eyebrows and said, "well it's no wonder your back was hurting you." 

A little later on, Rachel asked me to give her some clues for difficult vegetables that she could try to guess. At breakfast I had introduced both her and Rob to the delights of Word Brain Themes. Rachel confessed that she was already addicted, and it wasn't even downloaded on her phone. "I was terrible with Candy Crush. I'm so glad we don't have wifi here, as I'd be embarrassed to let my Facebook friends know how I spend all my time." Meanwhile, Mick was on the phone saying something about a three hour emergency call out. I asked Rachel afterwards if that was because of all the little men in the roof? Apparently not. It was for a leaking pipe. Which actually makes more sense. We had a slight sandwich disaster later on, which I managed to sort out in seven minutes. Rachel was extremely complimentary, "you see, K, all you need is a good attitude and a knife. And that's exactly the same for all of life - a good attitude and a knife." (Rachel has a favourite knife, which she has named 'Stabby'. I'm less sure about her attitude, though - you should see how little she cares about tying up bin bags properly).