Derrick and the Diamondback Moths

Since the return of Mick and Rachel, normality has well and truly been restored. I went into the laundry room one morning, and asked Mick, "is that your washing in there?" 

"Yes, it should have finished by now." I had to point out that the machine door probably needs to be closed for it to work. ("Oh! Fantastic.") 

Then followed a chain of events that could even be considered peculiar for here. A man called Derrick came to my room and asked to get in the shower, and after he had left, Rachel came knocking on the door as she had something really important to show me (her ankle). Then Fiona came coo-eee-ing down the corridor as she hadn't seen me all day (and everyone else had). Later on I walked outside to find Mick rolling telegraph poles down the drive. 

Rachel has discovered that if she achieves a certain level of inappropriateness then those particular comments won't make it onto the blog. I would estimate that over 72% of the things she says fit nicely into this category. I'm left instead with the odd remark about sandcastleing ice cream, doing Feng Shui with hash browns, and the ongoing threats of violence ("I'll knee you in the face!"). 

Fiona is a different kettle of fish altogether. We could only assume that one of her cardigans was embroidered with organic broccoli, and had subsequently been attacked by a biblical invasion of Diamondback moths. It would almost be possible for her to fit her head through the holes in the elbows. But she waltzes around in it anyway, diluting home brewed Elderflower Cordial with Pimms, and asking when I would like her to cut my hair.

One day I was tasked with the job of peeling what felt like 97 potatoes. I decided it was worth a go trying to speed up proceedings by sneaking up on the sink and scaring the potatoes so much that they would jump out of their skins. Remarkably, it didn't really seem to work. Rachel told me that I was a little bit strange, but Mick was genuinely interested in my success rate (and suggested that I probably needed to be more frightening). We discussed the potential impact of a positive attitude being able to influence remote events as we walked down to the Woolpack to watch England v Wales (with a slightly drunk Scotsman).